Christmas Time Performance Ramblings

I suppose all parents feel the same way watching their little ones perform on stage; excited, nervous, anxious and proud all at the same time. Well, tonight I watched Nicholas perform at his school's Christmas program and it was the best Christmas program EVER! Sure I might be biased but what did you expect?

But the performance was more than just a performance. It was a realization that he is making his way in this world. First, when we arrived, a teacher from his school whisked him away to the staging area. Now, I am not a "helicopter parent" by any means. A drone or a spy plane maybe. But definitely not a helicopter. I don't hover. I just want to know what is happening. I don't hover for the sake of hovering. I need information. Information that tells me my son is okay or if he needs me. Well him being in the staging area away from me resulted in some anxious moments.

But, when he emerged on stage all confident and went through his performance with the rest of the maybe 30 plus other kids, I was all smiles and expectant. And upon seeing me in the audience made him smile sweetly too.

Watching him though made me grin broadly and even though he was in a large group, he made himself stand out. Almost like he was saying "I can take on the world, in my own way." The cool part is when the performance was completed and all kids were delivered back to their parents, he leaped up in my arms with joy. That made me feel good; like I was still needed.

So this performance was more than just a Christmas program. It was a reminder that my son is no longer a baby, not quite a man; but now a little boy, growing up and making his way among the sea of faces.

On top of the world

I find there are some moments that will live on in a parent's memory forever. For each of my children I have a defining memory. Somewhere on this blog I think I made a post about Angeline and how after taking taking her to the movies one night on a father daughter date, she turns around just before climbing the stairs to her room and said "Thanks for taking me to the movies daddy". Simple. But somehow, someway I can't explain that stuck with me for years and still does. Jodi though is still making me work (and wait).

But with Nicholas I got one of those defining moments recently. On vacation in the mountains of North Carolina.

Grandfather Mountain.

Aptly named too, if you asked me.

We made our way to the very top of the mountain. Some 5,270 odd feet in elevation. That is about 1 mile.

We are standing just off the edge of a cliff (safely mind you) and I tell him that as long as he lives, always remember that he and his dad were on top of the world. The girls had run back to the car for something so it was just father and son. We turn to look over, down the mountain at the wonderful creation before us. (Attached photo was taken moments later).

I hold his hand (firmly, I am a bit paranoid) and paused just long enough to really enjoy the view. After being serenaded with silence for an eternity that elapsed in a few seconds, he softly turned to me, barely daring to speak, and said,

"I love you daddy".

Conversation starters

I always find it interesting how mothers are able to generate a conversation out of thin air with other mothers. Somehow fathers don't seem to be able to do that. I have tried. But it just doesn't work. Funnily enough I have generated conversations with moms more easily than other dads I have tried this with. Perhaps dads are more protective? Well, not sure if as a dad I am more cautious or wary than Nikki is as a mom. I can't explain it. I just know that it is unlikely for me to walk up to another dad and strike up a conversation that lasts beyond 3 minutes. Meantime, Nikki can walk up to another mom and three hours later still be conversing. (Ok, so that probably wouldn't happen as at least one of the kids would need to go to the bathroom, or is hungry or is cranky or something, there is always something!)

In fact, I remember when we were looking for child care some time ago, we came up with a list of possible day care centers. Since I was going to be passing by one of these locations I told Nikki I would stop in to check it out. I did, but I also wanted to ask a parent what they thought so while leaving I walked up to a dad who was picking up his daughter (big mistake, should have picked a mom to survey!)

As I walked up he turned and looked at me menacingly. I thought he was going to go all John Rambo on me (remember him?) So I started talking quickly trying to get the words out. Of course that didn't help as he couldn't understand what the heck I was saying which made matters worse. Finally, I was able to convey that I just wanted to see how his child liked the school. His response: "She likes it. The office is over there go, check it out!"

Try that with a mom:

"Oh she loves it. They have the Abeka program which I love. Little (insert cute name here) particularly likes the circle time where they dress up and role play. They take naps everyday from noon till one but the older kids can stay up if you like......"

Three hours later: "........and my poor little (refer to cute name above) was crying and I was like where were the teachers. Nobody saw her fall on the playground. I am not taking her back."

(Rolls eyes, get the hell outta there!)